renewal

On June 19th, my selfishness was hitting a significant peak. I was as anxious as I had been since I had gotten my life back together. I was impatient, unrealistic, needy, dependent, demanding, and worst of all, comfortable. The following day I was getting in the car, driving five hours, and spending six weeks here. I was also greatly regretting the decision to do so.

In my heart I knew that the Rowdy Ridge Gang Camp had something to offer me. I wasn't as convinced that I had anything to offer in return. God just told me to go, so I went. Obedience to God wasn't something I was pro at, especially if it was a risk. Sidenote: Due to whatever reasons and events in my life, I grew to hate taking chances. Years of this mentality forced me into the routine of never doing things I might not be good at, and blatantly refusing to step into the unknown. Anyways.

I immediately fell in love with camp. I immediately felt at home. I immediately knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.

I won't go into TOO much detail, because I have already become frustrated with my inability to translate into words what happens at the ridge, but it honestly is a place where miracles happen. The families that come to camp are broken. They have witnessed, experienced, and conquered more than I can ever think of.

We had a father who told his 18 year old son that he loved him for the first time. Children who have witnessed their mothers being continually abused. Mothers who were 47 days clean off drugs. 16 year old girls who were afraid to be beautiful because of years of sexual molestation. 16 year old boys who were able to breathe for a week without looking over their shoulders for cops or fellow gang members. 5 year olds who wouldn't sleep at night because they don't go to bed until 3am at home. We had cutters and addicts, bed-wetters and night terrors, victims and survivors.

Week after week and conversation after conversation I was hit with wake up calls. God was more alive than I have ever known Him to be. He was in every child and mother, every song and skit, every laugh and tear. I was humbled. There had been times in my life that I felt broken. None of those moments seemed of significance. I realized that I didn't know the first thing about pain or anxiety.

One of the most beautiful things about Rowdy is the simplicity of the process. We don't sit the families down for intense therapy sessions. However, the process is a beautiful one. It involves nothing more than songs and skits, friendship bracelets and tye-dye, row boats and trust falls, volleyball and archery, fashion shows and charades, water aerobics and lake days, grilled cheese and tomato soup, and lots and lots and lots of love. Just like magic, at the end of the week, lives would be changed. The mothers would be in tears as they tried to express how much the camp meant to them. They would say they hadn't laughed like that in years, that nobody had ever treated them so graciously, and that they felt like princesses. The most gratifying thing to know was that every single camper was able to see a glimpse of God during their week at camp.

I could probably go on forever about what happened during the summer of renewal. One thing I do want to stress on, though, is the fact that I wasn't anticipating for my heart to be so impacted. I didn't think God had THIS much work to do in my life. I came back to reality on August 1st with a completely different outlook on life. I began asking myself questions I had never had the courage to ask. I began praying in ways I had never had strength to pray in. I began listening in ways I had never had patience to listen with. I cared less about speaking funny words and more about the kind ones. My plans and agenda lost significance. God's took precedence. Priorities were changed.

It's been a short 5 days since I left the ridge. I was immediately hit with challenges upon returning home. Some I had anticipated and some I hadn't. To be honest, I'm a bit confused. It's weird being thrown back into the real world after 6 weeks. I do have an extreme amount of comfort, though. I feel closer to God than I ever have. I have a large, beautiful, and rowdy new family. I returned home to a pack of people who love me unconditionally. I'm more humble, strong, independent, appreciative, aware, and loving than I was when I left. And THAT, Camp Rowdy, is why I love you :)