Now put yo hands UP!

Up in the club, we just broke up, doing my own little thaaaannnnggg.

Just kidding. We didn't break up. However, I am still throwing my hands up. (in a good way)

The older I get, the more and more I realize how much I just need to let go. I feel like I've said it 3.8 billion times, but I LOVE(hate) to grasp on to my fears, anxiety, and problems for as long as I can. I could gag at the thought of just letting things run their course. If something is unknown, I'll play out all the possibilities in my head (usually only the bad ones) until I'm literally a freakazoid robot.

Well not anymore, my friends. My hands are up. Last week I was planning on writing a blog about how happy and content I've become. I've been so joyful in seeing that everything in my life is coming together. I was so excited for new paths and possibilities, and then the week changed and BAM!

stress

anxiety

unknown

change of plans.

I'm supposed to graduate in May. Last year, I was actually planning on trying to get done in Dec. In order to do that though, I had to take some online classes this summer to get some of these stupid, idiotic elective units out of the way. Well, things changed, and I decided to do Rowdy. I definitely could have just done my classwork there, but that didn't seem right. I made the decision to hold off on those classes, and focus all my attention and energy into camp and the campers. I am completely satisfied and proud of that decision, and I definitely had the best summer of my life. So, that leaves us with the plan for an on-time-May-graduation.

But it couldn't be that easy. This semester (fall 10) got completely screwed up (long story) and now I'm basically having a worthless semester, getting virtually no units completed. So that leaves us with a very full next (and supposedly last semester). Stressful? yes. Manageable? also yes. I mean, it's Liberal Studies and mostly elective units so not really too legit.

But last night was time to register for classes. Of course my last name continues to screw me over so I had lateish registration despite my senior status. One of the three classes I NEED to graduate was already closed. Like, not even a wait list option.

It wasn't THAT big of a deal, because I thought they HAD to let me in. I'm a senior. There is no way they could prevent me from graduating on time because of one silly Linguistics class. So I emailed the professor this morning explaining my situation and asking for a permission number. Not too worried about it.

I get an email back. She apologizes and says there is nothing she can do, and that she has already received several of the same emails. She also attached an email from the head of the Linguistics program explaining that there are 200 Liberal Studies seniors who need to take that class in Spring in order to graduate. There are 64 seats. 2 sessions of 32.

That leaves 136 of us stuck.

So what do I do? Besides have a panic attack/mental breakdown? No idea.

Luckily Yeager swooped in and saved the day. I am finally just accepting that Fresno State is obsessed with me, and wants to keep me around for another semester. I'm accepting that since I will be hanging around Fall 11 for one class, I might as well just spread out my remaining units. That will make for 2 less stressful semesters and more time to work. Luckily this subbing gig is putting me in the classroom and giving me tons of great experience. It will all work out.

So here I am, throwing my hands up. No need to stress or cry. Some things are just beyond our control.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11