The Proposal.

Am I dreaming? Please say no.

Jacob Yeager asked me to be his wifey! Me! A wife! A Yeager! Since I can't write 5,000 text and facebook explanations, I'm going to tell the story via blog. Tissues recommended.

On Wednesday night our dear friend Eric sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to Yosemite on Saturday and spend the night. Just a little snow trip to kick off vacation. I didn't want to (oops) It sounded fabulous, but finals were approaching and it seemed like a huge hassle to do something like that so last minute. I called Jake and asked him what he thought. He played dumb like he didn't really know what was going on, but then said that I didn't have to go, but he was. I didn't want to stay in Coalinga all weekend when 3 of my best friends were having a blast in the snow. I said yes, then started to get excited.

We left on Saturday morning. Eric was calling all of the shots, and should win an Oscar for pretending like he planned this whole thing. As you can imagine, Yosemite was beyond beautiful. I referred to it as Narnia multiple times. Literally a winter wonderland!

We pull up to our hotel: Yosemite Lodge at the Falls. Our hotel room- RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FALLS! If this doesn't take instantly take your breath away, google image it. Saturday was perfect. PERFECT!

The snow was fresh. The sky was blue. The trees were full. dreaammyy! We went to the falls and stood in awe of those for awhile. Kid you not, Yosemite was EMPTY! We almost had it all to ourselves.

We had lunch in the cute little food court, looking out to the plaza full of Christmas trees decorated with pretty white lights! :)

Then we went ice skating! So fun. The place was completely outdoors, with an awesome bonfire off to the side. I mean, we're talking out of a movie. Imagine ice skating while looking at Half Dome. It's just unreal.

After skating we went to dinner at the lodge. Jake demanded that I ordered the lamb, which is my favorite. Honestly, the only suspicious thing all weekend was that Yeager didn't have an appetite. Cute little nervous fiance! :) After dinner we were all exhausted, so just went back to the room and slept.

The next morning I woke up at 7. Becky asks me, "Do you have any idea where the boys are?" I sit up and look at their bed. Empty. I told her they were probably just getting us breakfast. Then my phone rang. It was a text from Jake telling me to wake up. Just then Becky came from the bathroom telling me that she found a note for me in there. It said, "Goodmorning, doll. Meet me at the Falls."

Confusion. Becky asked if she should go and I demanded yes. Even though it's a 5 minute walk, I'm sure I would have gotten lost. I dressed faster than ever and we headed out.

Right when I opened the door I found a single red rose sitting on the doormat. Like, the most perfect rose EVER. Beauty and the Beast status. At that point I knew something was going on that I should be excited about. I just always thought that I would know exactly when he was going to propose. I had NO IDEA. My fiance and friends are professional actors, people!!

Beck and I walk through the magical snow pathway towards the falls. As we get the the final turn, I see a person sprint across the walkway (Eric). Mind you, its 7:30am.

I turn the corner and there are the Yosemite Falls raging down in the background. Snow covered EVERYWHERE! And Jake Yeager standing with his guitar with red rose petals scattered everywhere!

I walked up to him so so nervous :) He sang me an unbelievably BEAUTIFUL song that he wrote and then got down on his knee and pulled out the ring.

The perfect ring! The exact ring I told him I wanted when I was 16 years old :) Plain white gold band, solitaire sparkly diamond. I kinda feel like it was made for me.

Oh AND, the moment his knee hit the ground it started to snow! How magical is that? And then we turn around, and there is a rainbow going through the waterfall. I guess God keeps his promises :) I wish you all were there to see for yourself. My words do zero justice. God was fully a part of the whole thing, and we are so excited to live the rest of our lives together, serving Him.

We left Yosemite and came home. We walked into Jake's house to a HUGE MASS of friends and family. Surprise Engagement party! So so so amazing. Everything. I just can't even handle it. Facebook for pictures!

Now it's planning time.

Love,

Karissa Almost Yeager!

Ps. I almost forgot. Jake bought us matching Jake and Kris Yosemite souvenir coffee mugs. You know so we can drink out of them when we are married in our house, and can always remember this amazzzzing weekend!

the beauty of simplicity

It's plain and simple, I love simplicity.

The older and older I get, the more I'm able to identify this in my life.

So many times I catch myself saying, "Why can't things just be simple?" This seems like a silly thing to be pointing out, since it might be assumed that everybody would want things to just be simple, but I don't think that's so true.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is trying their hardest to complicate things, and complicate their lives. Everybody wants more.

Not me. It kinda stresses me out.

I just love simple.

I love simple clothes. Solid color v-necks and Gap straight legged jeans own my closet. My highlighter yellow Vans really spice things up, but that's just because I couldn't resist.

I love simple makeup. This is mostly because I have no tolerance for spending time on changing my face, so mascara and rose salve lip balm alway seem to do the trick.

I love simple music. While everybody knows I can never deny my not-so-secret obsession with the Black Eyed Peas, I always prefer an acoustic guitar or piano. Raw. No fancy effects or beats.

I love simple words. My favorite Bible verse of all time is Romans 12:12. Be joyful in hope, Patient in affliction, Faithful in prayer. There is no need for complexity, and somehow ten words always seem to help me through any situation I find myself in.

I love simple jewelry. I have wanted the same engagement ring my whole entire life. Plain band with a solitaire diamond. It's the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine.

I love simple homes. There is nothing that makes me giddier than a cozy bedroom with light sage green walls, black and white family pictures, and a Queen size bed with all white sheets, pillow cases, and a fluffy white down comforter. Drool.

I love simple people. Save the drama for your mama. Not much more to say.

I love simple activities. Bike rides! Board games! Painting! Reading! Talking, people, talking!

I think we should all try to challenge ourselves to simplify our lives this week. Let's forget all the flash and fuss. Doesn't get you far anyways.

"In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Now put yo hands UP!

Up in the club, we just broke up, doing my own little thaaaannnnggg.

Just kidding. We didn't break up. However, I am still throwing my hands up. (in a good way)

The older I get, the more and more I realize how much I just need to let go. I feel like I've said it 3.8 billion times, but I LOVE(hate) to grasp on to my fears, anxiety, and problems for as long as I can. I could gag at the thought of just letting things run their course. If something is unknown, I'll play out all the possibilities in my head (usually only the bad ones) until I'm literally a freakazoid robot.

Well not anymore, my friends. My hands are up. Last week I was planning on writing a blog about how happy and content I've become. I've been so joyful in seeing that everything in my life is coming together. I was so excited for new paths and possibilities, and then the week changed and BAM!

stress

anxiety

unknown

change of plans.

I'm supposed to graduate in May. Last year, I was actually planning on trying to get done in Dec. In order to do that though, I had to take some online classes this summer to get some of these stupid, idiotic elective units out of the way. Well, things changed, and I decided to do Rowdy. I definitely could have just done my classwork there, but that didn't seem right. I made the decision to hold off on those classes, and focus all my attention and energy into camp and the campers. I am completely satisfied and proud of that decision, and I definitely had the best summer of my life. So, that leaves us with the plan for an on-time-May-graduation.

But it couldn't be that easy. This semester (fall 10) got completely screwed up (long story) and now I'm basically having a worthless semester, getting virtually no units completed. So that leaves us with a very full next (and supposedly last semester). Stressful? yes. Manageable? also yes. I mean, it's Liberal Studies and mostly elective units so not really too legit.

But last night was time to register for classes. Of course my last name continues to screw me over so I had lateish registration despite my senior status. One of the three classes I NEED to graduate was already closed. Like, not even a wait list option.

It wasn't THAT big of a deal, because I thought they HAD to let me in. I'm a senior. There is no way they could prevent me from graduating on time because of one silly Linguistics class. So I emailed the professor this morning explaining my situation and asking for a permission number. Not too worried about it.

I get an email back. She apologizes and says there is nothing she can do, and that she has already received several of the same emails. She also attached an email from the head of the Linguistics program explaining that there are 200 Liberal Studies seniors who need to take that class in Spring in order to graduate. There are 64 seats. 2 sessions of 32.

That leaves 136 of us stuck.

So what do I do? Besides have a panic attack/mental breakdown? No idea.

Luckily Yeager swooped in and saved the day. I am finally just accepting that Fresno State is obsessed with me, and wants to keep me around for another semester. I'm accepting that since I will be hanging around Fall 11 for one class, I might as well just spread out my remaining units. That will make for 2 less stressful semesters and more time to work. Luckily this subbing gig is putting me in the classroom and giving me tons of great experience. It will all work out.

So here I am, throwing my hands up. No need to stress or cry. Some things are just beyond our control.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

whoops.

i think i forgot i had a blog.

oh well. this is blog comeback worthy.

i've had a passion for children with special needs ever since Tru Confessions. jk..kinda. i've wanted to be a special ed teacher for a significant amount of time now, and within in the past few years realized that specializing in autism would be my ultimate dream. i just reallly realllly truly madly deeply LOVE children with autism. i can't really explain it.

i see a child with autism and my heart melts, my eyes water, and i just can't stop smiling. the thought of being able to spend my "work" life with them literally overwhelms me with joy. i know i've already posted this, but here is a superfab video of an interview with a high functioning child with aspergers. LOVE!

karissa feels holly and jolly?

embrace this moment, because i've never (in my whole life) said this before. i, karissa elise sullivan IV, am looking forward to this year's fall slash winter season. oh.em.gee, i can't believe i just admitted that. i'm not sure where this new appreciation is coming from and i wouldn't be surprised if i try to retract this statement two days into november (happy birthday beej!), but i might as well enjoy this excitement while it's here. i'll offer up a few reasons causing my excitement.

1. i'll finally have a reason for the unhealthy amounts of candy i consume (halloween)

2. i'll finally have a reason for the unhealthy amounts of food i consume (thanksgiving)

3. i can watch elf as many times as i want without jake or my mom judging me because it's not christmas.

4. the nutcracker

5. i get to wear my rowdy sweatshirt.

6. i get to order white mochas.

7. christmas tree lane.

8. sarah mclachlan christmas cd

9. i can watch the holiday as many times as i want without america judging me because it's not christmas.

10. no leg shaving

11. no hair doing.

should be some good times. EXCEPT, sorry fashionistas: i fully intend on wearing yellow nail polish all year long. fall colors do nothing for me. merry christmas!

enfp.

i've been a pretty awful writer of blogs. i became quite old school and started writing in a legitimate journal. it's been nice to write without watching my words. i know all you stalkers out there are dying without knowing all my bizznass (joke, i'm aware there are approx 5 of you readers) so i'm going to try and start giving this little guy a little more attention.

random: a few weeks ago i took a personality test. like a legit one, not just one from bored.com. apparently i'm an enfp. the other day i looked up enfp's and found several websites that described my personality perfectly. it's moderately creepy. here's one. it's the most ghetto and non-legit, but also the most hilarious and accurate. anyways, the good news is that Will Smith and Regis Philbin are ENFPs! this basically implies that i'm an amazing human being. go me!

renewal

On June 19th, my selfishness was hitting a significant peak. I was as anxious as I had been since I had gotten my life back together. I was impatient, unrealistic, needy, dependent, demanding, and worst of all, comfortable. The following day I was getting in the car, driving five hours, and spending six weeks here. I was also greatly regretting the decision to do so.

In my heart I knew that the Rowdy Ridge Gang Camp had something to offer me. I wasn't as convinced that I had anything to offer in return. God just told me to go, so I went. Obedience to God wasn't something I was pro at, especially if it was a risk. Sidenote: Due to whatever reasons and events in my life, I grew to hate taking chances. Years of this mentality forced me into the routine of never doing things I might not be good at, and blatantly refusing to step into the unknown. Anyways.

I immediately fell in love with camp. I immediately felt at home. I immediately knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.

I won't go into TOO much detail, because I have already become frustrated with my inability to translate into words what happens at the ridge, but it honestly is a place where miracles happen. The families that come to camp are broken. They have witnessed, experienced, and conquered more than I can ever think of.

We had a father who told his 18 year old son that he loved him for the first time. Children who have witnessed their mothers being continually abused. Mothers who were 47 days clean off drugs. 16 year old girls who were afraid to be beautiful because of years of sexual molestation. 16 year old boys who were able to breathe for a week without looking over their shoulders for cops or fellow gang members. 5 year olds who wouldn't sleep at night because they don't go to bed until 3am at home. We had cutters and addicts, bed-wetters and night terrors, victims and survivors.

Week after week and conversation after conversation I was hit with wake up calls. God was more alive than I have ever known Him to be. He was in every child and mother, every song and skit, every laugh and tear. I was humbled. There had been times in my life that I felt broken. None of those moments seemed of significance. I realized that I didn't know the first thing about pain or anxiety.

One of the most beautiful things about Rowdy is the simplicity of the process. We don't sit the families down for intense therapy sessions. However, the process is a beautiful one. It involves nothing more than songs and skits, friendship bracelets and tye-dye, row boats and trust falls, volleyball and archery, fashion shows and charades, water aerobics and lake days, grilled cheese and tomato soup, and lots and lots and lots of love. Just like magic, at the end of the week, lives would be changed. The mothers would be in tears as they tried to express how much the camp meant to them. They would say they hadn't laughed like that in years, that nobody had ever treated them so graciously, and that they felt like princesses. The most gratifying thing to know was that every single camper was able to see a glimpse of God during their week at camp.

I could probably go on forever about what happened during the summer of renewal. One thing I do want to stress on, though, is the fact that I wasn't anticipating for my heart to be so impacted. I didn't think God had THIS much work to do in my life. I came back to reality on August 1st with a completely different outlook on life. I began asking myself questions I had never had the courage to ask. I began praying in ways I had never had strength to pray in. I began listening in ways I had never had patience to listen with. I cared less about speaking funny words and more about the kind ones. My plans and agenda lost significance. God's took precedence. Priorities were changed.

It's been a short 5 days since I left the ridge. I was immediately hit with challenges upon returning home. Some I had anticipated and some I hadn't. To be honest, I'm a bit confused. It's weird being thrown back into the real world after 6 weeks. I do have an extreme amount of comfort, though. I feel closer to God than I ever have. I have a large, beautiful, and rowdy new family. I returned home to a pack of people who love me unconditionally. I'm more humble, strong, independent, appreciative, aware, and loving than I was when I left. And THAT, Camp Rowdy, is why I love you :)