fyi

If your mom's name is Tina don't say, "Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner." SHE WILL NOT THINK THE NAPOLEON REFERENCE IS AS HILARIOUS IS YOU. trust me.

creep.

Does anybody else have an overwhelming fear that one day you'll be facebook stalking, and then your victim will be sitting directly behind you in the Student Union, and then will know you are creep, and then you'll be stuck in this super awkward situation?

No? I'm the only one the dims my screen to the max to prevent this from happening? Cool.

veruca

Confession: I have the ability to be really really ridiculously selfish. I’m a human so I realize that comes with the package, but I hate it more than anything. I just can’t handle it.

I do this thing where I think I deserve everything (good). I become frustrated and discouraged when I don’t get what I think I need. I become exhausted when I feel like I’ve worked so hard for so little. I become bitter and restless and impatient.

And then it hits me. I realize just HOW much I have not gotten that I deserve. I deserve severe punishment for my countless sins. Guess what? Haven’t gotten it yet. What I do have is boundless grace and eternal life.

Cue the effort for more grace in my life. Cue patience and understanding. Cue acceptance and faith. Just my current thoughts. Carry on.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourself, it is the gift of God- not by works , so that no one can boast. “ Ephesians 2:8-9

Reasons I Would Hate To Be My Friend

1. Sometimes I don't speak in complete sentences and rarely give background information on what I'm talking about. I assume you all can read my thoughts.

2. I only want to watch movies I've already seen. Ex: Spinal Tap. Dan in Real Life. Elf. The Sound of Music. These are also the only movies I won't fall asleep 20 minutes into.

3.I turn into a psychotic werewolf if I don't have food or sleep. Jake also likes to say I function like an infant.

4. I am quite often thinking in terms of joke material and sometimes forget that some people aren't good at taking jokes.

5. I demand frequent sinus massages.

6. I literally canNOT control my giggling and often times laugh in inappropriate situations.

7. I grab food off other's plates without waiting for permission to do so.

conversations

This past weekend the babe and I packed our bags and headed to El Lay to visit bestfriend. We had a blast, but that's obvs. Here are some of the conversations. They will not be humorous to the general public, but are just for our memories. PS. I'm thinking about doing these every so often.

me: "does everybody here enjoy the smell of coconut?"

ashley: "yeah."

me: "ok good. because every night i have to put my coconut lotion on before bed."

ashley: "why?"

me: "because I like lotion before bed."

ashley: "no, not why that."

me: "oh, why coconut?"

ashley: "yes."

me: "ummmmmmmmm because its summmmer."

jake: "oh and our library will have wood floors and wall to wall bookshelves and it will be the only place in the house that allows pipe smoking."

ashley: "so like, my dad's?"

jake: "yes. kinda."

me: "can i have a rolling ladder?"

ashley: "how high are the ceilings?"

jake: "not THAT high. kris, you can have a step-stool."

me: "NO! i want a rolling ladder!"

jake: "why?"

me: "to be like belle and audrey hepburn."

ashley: "mmmm yes."

jake: "ohmygosh."

jake: "they don't have bird scarers in Australia?"

petah mohley: "nope."

ashley: "it's because we have so many pigeons."

petah mohley: "ha...no. we have WAAAAYYYY more pigeons than you."

jake, ashley, me: "wwwwwhooooooaaaa. sssooooooorrrrrrrrryyyyyyy."

petah mohley: "yeah. and we've also have a lot of seagulls. they are like these pigeon-like birds, except white."

jake, ashley, me: "yeah. we definitely have seagulls to."

petah mohley: "what? really?"

indian giver.

Poor God. Sometimes I'm convinced I'm one of His more annoying children. I ask and ask and ask, and I receive. In big ways. My life has His fingerprints everywhere. Still, I doubt. I don't doubt God's existence, but rather God's abilities. Except, not even God's abilities. Ok, I'll just say it. I'm feeling anxious again.

It isn't lose 20 lbs, sleep all day, think I have a brain tumor anxious. That's a relief. I am just anxious in a selfish way. My confidence is dwindling. Security is weakening. Trust is definitely being tested.

Here's the thing. I like control. Not necessarily to call the shots, because that usually stresses me out. I just like control to have something to hold on to. It's safe. This is why I imaginary brake when I'm in the passenger seat and why I always volunteer to do the work in group projects. I guess that's pretty typical stuff, but it's saddening that I can't muster up the courage to fully trust the creator of the Universe. I could say that I try my hardest, but I don't. Obviously.

Let me set you up with a scene from a typical Karissa prayer session:

".....And God help me not to feel (blank) about (blank). Let me not worry about (blank), and allow me to trust that (blank). I place it all in Your hands. I love you and praise you and worship you. In Jesus' name, Amen." I take a breath, turn to my side, and get right back to worrying as soon as possible. Irritating.

I know I'm unique and irreplaceable. I've read those verses. God has told me, Himself. I know God's timing is better than mine. I've read those verses too. I know my life has purpose and great potential. Read about it. I know I'm safe in His arms. Sang about it. I'm just having trouble living it.

I know it's finals, and another transition period (which I'm not the greatest with). I know big things are going to be happening soon, and that I have a lot to look forward to this summer. I know that God is preparing to use me in ways that are beyond my understanding. I know I need to ditch the resentment and insecurity, the tension, and most importantly the control. I'll do it. I'm just having a night.

Ps. Big Guy, Thanks for being a lover of ashes.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters ... they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isaiah 43:1-3).

expert

Good news! No school nonsense until Monday! :) I just got a whiff of summer and it is yummmmy.

Ok, so I'm definitely not a relationship expert, but sometimes I think I am. I just figured I would share my abundance of knowledge with the rest of you. Listen up. This may save your life.

1) Never take a picture as if you are at a dance. Even if you are at a dance. It will never turn out as cute as you imagine.

2) Never ask any question that you don't want to hear the answer to. Example: "She's pretty, huh?"

3) If you tell your significant other to pick the movie don't sigh when he picks Gladiator again or she picks Elf again.

4) Males will never know what you are trying to tell him in code. Regardless how many hints you give, you will be better off just saying, "Can you rub my shoulders?"

5) Don't get kissy kissy in front of your friends. It's not cute and nobody else has those butterflies.

6) Everybody will think you are spending too much time together at first. Give it 4 months. That stage will pass.

7) Don't be desperate. Just don't.

8) Perfection would be dating two years, engaged for one, married at three. Things change. Better safe than sorry.

9) Don't start dating your favorite person on Earth when you are 14 unless you have patience.

10) Before you reach the climax of a fight, walk away for 15 then try to solve the issue. It will save a few, "No, I didn't mean that.....that either."

11) This is not the correct way to hold hands. Male's on top. Always. No excuses. Even if Zac Efron in fem.

Monday Memories

Remember when I said I was a procrastinator? Exactly.

This memory will definitely be a lot more enjoyable if you are blessed enough to know the one & only Walter Morris (aka dad). He is one of the weirdest and most amazing humans I know and is always entertaining, even though he tries to pretend he is shy. Anyways, I remember being a kid and being sooo frustrated with him because he ALWAYS made up words. ALWAYS! And he used them ALWAYS. Nobody but our family knew what they meant. Literally every time I go home, he has made up a knew one. Most of them are not repeatable, but here is a taste:

Garbo= trash can- "Sis, go frow this in the Garbo."

Pow Pow Strangers= Power Rangers- "Go Go Pow Pow Strangers!"

Cacabuh= Chewing Tobacco- "Cacabuh kiss."

Fijalator= Refrigerator- "There's some in the Fijalator."

Tupu= stupid- "That's tupu."

Snap= snack- "Did somebody already give ChewChew and CloClo a snap?"

Boom Boom= poop- "Who just made boom boom?"

Talk about being 9 and embarrassed. Love him.