The Proposal.

Am I dreaming? Please say no.

Jacob Yeager asked me to be his wifey! Me! A wife! A Yeager! Since I can't write 5,000 text and facebook explanations, I'm going to tell the story via blog. Tissues recommended.

On Wednesday night our dear friend Eric sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to Yosemite on Saturday and spend the night. Just a little snow trip to kick off vacation. I didn't want to (oops) It sounded fabulous, but finals were approaching and it seemed like a huge hassle to do something like that so last minute. I called Jake and asked him what he thought. He played dumb like he didn't really know what was going on, but then said that I didn't have to go, but he was. I didn't want to stay in Coalinga all weekend when 3 of my best friends were having a blast in the snow. I said yes, then started to get excited.

We left on Saturday morning. Eric was calling all of the shots, and should win an Oscar for pretending like he planned this whole thing. As you can imagine, Yosemite was beyond beautiful. I referred to it as Narnia multiple times. Literally a winter wonderland!

We pull up to our hotel: Yosemite Lodge at the Falls. Our hotel room- RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FALLS! If this doesn't take instantly take your breath away, google image it. Saturday was perfect. PERFECT!

The snow was fresh. The sky was blue. The trees were full. dreaammyy! We went to the falls and stood in awe of those for awhile. Kid you not, Yosemite was EMPTY! We almost had it all to ourselves.

We had lunch in the cute little food court, looking out to the plaza full of Christmas trees decorated with pretty white lights! :)

Then we went ice skating! So fun. The place was completely outdoors, with an awesome bonfire off to the side. I mean, we're talking out of a movie. Imagine ice skating while looking at Half Dome. It's just unreal.

After skating we went to dinner at the lodge. Jake demanded that I ordered the lamb, which is my favorite. Honestly, the only suspicious thing all weekend was that Yeager didn't have an appetite. Cute little nervous fiance! :) After dinner we were all exhausted, so just went back to the room and slept.

The next morning I woke up at 7. Becky asks me, "Do you have any idea where the boys are?" I sit up and look at their bed. Empty. I told her they were probably just getting us breakfast. Then my phone rang. It was a text from Jake telling me to wake up. Just then Becky came from the bathroom telling me that she found a note for me in there. It said, "Goodmorning, doll. Meet me at the Falls."

Confusion. Becky asked if she should go and I demanded yes. Even though it's a 5 minute walk, I'm sure I would have gotten lost. I dressed faster than ever and we headed out.

Right when I opened the door I found a single red rose sitting on the doormat. Like, the most perfect rose EVER. Beauty and the Beast status. At that point I knew something was going on that I should be excited about. I just always thought that I would know exactly when he was going to propose. I had NO IDEA. My fiance and friends are professional actors, people!!

Beck and I walk through the magical snow pathway towards the falls. As we get the the final turn, I see a person sprint across the walkway (Eric). Mind you, its 7:30am.

I turn the corner and there are the Yosemite Falls raging down in the background. Snow covered EVERYWHERE! And Jake Yeager standing with his guitar with red rose petals scattered everywhere!

I walked up to him so so nervous :) He sang me an unbelievably BEAUTIFUL song that he wrote and then got down on his knee and pulled out the ring.

The perfect ring! The exact ring I told him I wanted when I was 16 years old :) Plain white gold band, solitaire sparkly diamond. I kinda feel like it was made for me.

Oh AND, the moment his knee hit the ground it started to snow! How magical is that? And then we turn around, and there is a rainbow going through the waterfall. I guess God keeps his promises :) I wish you all were there to see for yourself. My words do zero justice. God was fully a part of the whole thing, and we are so excited to live the rest of our lives together, serving Him.

We left Yosemite and came home. We walked into Jake's house to a HUGE MASS of friends and family. Surprise Engagement party! So so so amazing. Everything. I just can't even handle it. Facebook for pictures!

Now it's planning time.

Love,

Karissa Almost Yeager!

Ps. I almost forgot. Jake bought us matching Jake and Kris Yosemite souvenir coffee mugs. You know so we can drink out of them when we are married in our house, and can always remember this amazzzzing weekend!

the beauty of simplicity

It's plain and simple, I love simplicity.

The older and older I get, the more I'm able to identify this in my life.

So many times I catch myself saying, "Why can't things just be simple?" This seems like a silly thing to be pointing out, since it might be assumed that everybody would want things to just be simple, but I don't think that's so true.

Sometimes I feel like everybody is trying their hardest to complicate things, and complicate their lives. Everybody wants more.

Not me. It kinda stresses me out.

I just love simple.

I love simple clothes. Solid color v-necks and Gap straight legged jeans own my closet. My highlighter yellow Vans really spice things up, but that's just because I couldn't resist.

I love simple makeup. This is mostly because I have no tolerance for spending time on changing my face, so mascara and rose salve lip balm alway seem to do the trick.

I love simple music. While everybody knows I can never deny my not-so-secret obsession with the Black Eyed Peas, I always prefer an acoustic guitar or piano. Raw. No fancy effects or beats.

I love simple words. My favorite Bible verse of all time is Romans 12:12. Be joyful in hope, Patient in affliction, Faithful in prayer. There is no need for complexity, and somehow ten words always seem to help me through any situation I find myself in.

I love simple jewelry. I have wanted the same engagement ring my whole entire life. Plain band with a solitaire diamond. It's the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine.

I love simple homes. There is nothing that makes me giddier than a cozy bedroom with light sage green walls, black and white family pictures, and a Queen size bed with all white sheets, pillow cases, and a fluffy white down comforter. Drool.

I love simple people. Save the drama for your mama. Not much more to say.

I love simple activities. Bike rides! Board games! Painting! Reading! Talking, people, talking!

I think we should all try to challenge ourselves to simplify our lives this week. Let's forget all the flash and fuss. Doesn't get you far anyways.

"In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Now put yo hands UP!

Up in the club, we just broke up, doing my own little thaaaannnnggg.

Just kidding. We didn't break up. However, I am still throwing my hands up. (in a good way)

The older I get, the more and more I realize how much I just need to let go. I feel like I've said it 3.8 billion times, but I LOVE(hate) to grasp on to my fears, anxiety, and problems for as long as I can. I could gag at the thought of just letting things run their course. If something is unknown, I'll play out all the possibilities in my head (usually only the bad ones) until I'm literally a freakazoid robot.

Well not anymore, my friends. My hands are up. Last week I was planning on writing a blog about how happy and content I've become. I've been so joyful in seeing that everything in my life is coming together. I was so excited for new paths and possibilities, and then the week changed and BAM!

stress

anxiety

unknown

change of plans.

I'm supposed to graduate in May. Last year, I was actually planning on trying to get done in Dec. In order to do that though, I had to take some online classes this summer to get some of these stupid, idiotic elective units out of the way. Well, things changed, and I decided to do Rowdy. I definitely could have just done my classwork there, but that didn't seem right. I made the decision to hold off on those classes, and focus all my attention and energy into camp and the campers. I am completely satisfied and proud of that decision, and I definitely had the best summer of my life. So, that leaves us with the plan for an on-time-May-graduation.

But it couldn't be that easy. This semester (fall 10) got completely screwed up (long story) and now I'm basically having a worthless semester, getting virtually no units completed. So that leaves us with a very full next (and supposedly last semester). Stressful? yes. Manageable? also yes. I mean, it's Liberal Studies and mostly elective units so not really too legit.

But last night was time to register for classes. Of course my last name continues to screw me over so I had lateish registration despite my senior status. One of the three classes I NEED to graduate was already closed. Like, not even a wait list option.

It wasn't THAT big of a deal, because I thought they HAD to let me in. I'm a senior. There is no way they could prevent me from graduating on time because of one silly Linguistics class. So I emailed the professor this morning explaining my situation and asking for a permission number. Not too worried about it.

I get an email back. She apologizes and says there is nothing she can do, and that she has already received several of the same emails. She also attached an email from the head of the Linguistics program explaining that there are 200 Liberal Studies seniors who need to take that class in Spring in order to graduate. There are 64 seats. 2 sessions of 32.

That leaves 136 of us stuck.

So what do I do? Besides have a panic attack/mental breakdown? No idea.

Luckily Yeager swooped in and saved the day. I am finally just accepting that Fresno State is obsessed with me, and wants to keep me around for another semester. I'm accepting that since I will be hanging around Fall 11 for one class, I might as well just spread out my remaining units. That will make for 2 less stressful semesters and more time to work. Luckily this subbing gig is putting me in the classroom and giving me tons of great experience. It will all work out.

So here I am, throwing my hands up. No need to stress or cry. Some things are just beyond our control.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

whoops.

i think i forgot i had a blog.

oh well. this is blog comeback worthy.

i've had a passion for children with special needs ever since Tru Confessions. jk..kinda. i've wanted to be a special ed teacher for a significant amount of time now, and within in the past few years realized that specializing in autism would be my ultimate dream. i just reallly realllly truly madly deeply LOVE children with autism. i can't really explain it.

i see a child with autism and my heart melts, my eyes water, and i just can't stop smiling. the thought of being able to spend my "work" life with them literally overwhelms me with joy. i know i've already posted this, but here is a superfab video of an interview with a high functioning child with aspergers. LOVE!

karissa feels holly and jolly?

embrace this moment, because i've never (in my whole life) said this before. i, karissa elise sullivan IV, am looking forward to this year's fall slash winter season. oh.em.gee, i can't believe i just admitted that. i'm not sure where this new appreciation is coming from and i wouldn't be surprised if i try to retract this statement two days into november (happy birthday beej!), but i might as well enjoy this excitement while it's here. i'll offer up a few reasons causing my excitement.

1. i'll finally have a reason for the unhealthy amounts of candy i consume (halloween)

2. i'll finally have a reason for the unhealthy amounts of food i consume (thanksgiving)

3. i can watch elf as many times as i want without jake or my mom judging me because it's not christmas.

4. the nutcracker

5. i get to wear my rowdy sweatshirt.

6. i get to order white mochas.

7. christmas tree lane.

8. sarah mclachlan christmas cd

9. i can watch the holiday as many times as i want without america judging me because it's not christmas.

10. no leg shaving

11. no hair doing.

should be some good times. EXCEPT, sorry fashionistas: i fully intend on wearing yellow nail polish all year long. fall colors do nothing for me. merry christmas!

enfp.

i've been a pretty awful writer of blogs. i became quite old school and started writing in a legitimate journal. it's been nice to write without watching my words. i know all you stalkers out there are dying without knowing all my bizznass (joke, i'm aware there are approx 5 of you readers) so i'm going to try and start giving this little guy a little more attention.

random: a few weeks ago i took a personality test. like a legit one, not just one from bored.com. apparently i'm an enfp. the other day i looked up enfp's and found several websites that described my personality perfectly. it's moderately creepy. here's one. it's the most ghetto and non-legit, but also the most hilarious and accurate. anyways, the good news is that Will Smith and Regis Philbin are ENFPs! this basically implies that i'm an amazing human being. go me!

renewal

On June 19th, my selfishness was hitting a significant peak. I was as anxious as I had been since I had gotten my life back together. I was impatient, unrealistic, needy, dependent, demanding, and worst of all, comfortable. The following day I was getting in the car, driving five hours, and spending six weeks here. I was also greatly regretting the decision to do so.

In my heart I knew that the Rowdy Ridge Gang Camp had something to offer me. I wasn't as convinced that I had anything to offer in return. God just told me to go, so I went. Obedience to God wasn't something I was pro at, especially if it was a risk. Sidenote: Due to whatever reasons and events in my life, I grew to hate taking chances. Years of this mentality forced me into the routine of never doing things I might not be good at, and blatantly refusing to step into the unknown. Anyways.

I immediately fell in love with camp. I immediately felt at home. I immediately knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.

I won't go into TOO much detail, because I have already become frustrated with my inability to translate into words what happens at the ridge, but it honestly is a place where miracles happen. The families that come to camp are broken. They have witnessed, experienced, and conquered more than I can ever think of.

We had a father who told his 18 year old son that he loved him for the first time. Children who have witnessed their mothers being continually abused. Mothers who were 47 days clean off drugs. 16 year old girls who were afraid to be beautiful because of years of sexual molestation. 16 year old boys who were able to breathe for a week without looking over their shoulders for cops or fellow gang members. 5 year olds who wouldn't sleep at night because they don't go to bed until 3am at home. We had cutters and addicts, bed-wetters and night terrors, victims and survivors.

Week after week and conversation after conversation I was hit with wake up calls. God was more alive than I have ever known Him to be. He was in every child and mother, every song and skit, every laugh and tear. I was humbled. There had been times in my life that I felt broken. None of those moments seemed of significance. I realized that I didn't know the first thing about pain or anxiety.

One of the most beautiful things about Rowdy is the simplicity of the process. We don't sit the families down for intense therapy sessions. However, the process is a beautiful one. It involves nothing more than songs and skits, friendship bracelets and tye-dye, row boats and trust falls, volleyball and archery, fashion shows and charades, water aerobics and lake days, grilled cheese and tomato soup, and lots and lots and lots of love. Just like magic, at the end of the week, lives would be changed. The mothers would be in tears as they tried to express how much the camp meant to them. They would say they hadn't laughed like that in years, that nobody had ever treated them so graciously, and that they felt like princesses. The most gratifying thing to know was that every single camper was able to see a glimpse of God during their week at camp.

I could probably go on forever about what happened during the summer of renewal. One thing I do want to stress on, though, is the fact that I wasn't anticipating for my heart to be so impacted. I didn't think God had THIS much work to do in my life. I came back to reality on August 1st with a completely different outlook on life. I began asking myself questions I had never had the courage to ask. I began praying in ways I had never had strength to pray in. I began listening in ways I had never had patience to listen with. I cared less about speaking funny words and more about the kind ones. My plans and agenda lost significance. God's took precedence. Priorities were changed.

It's been a short 5 days since I left the ridge. I was immediately hit with challenges upon returning home. Some I had anticipated and some I hadn't. To be honest, I'm a bit confused. It's weird being thrown back into the real world after 6 weeks. I do have an extreme amount of comfort, though. I feel closer to God than I ever have. I have a large, beautiful, and rowdy new family. I returned home to a pack of people who love me unconditionally. I'm more humble, strong, independent, appreciative, aware, and loving than I was when I left. And THAT, Camp Rowdy, is why I love you :)

I've been an ultra awful blogger lately. I guess that's what happens when you actually have fun things to do and an exceptionally handsome fellow to spend time with.

Sidenote: I sorta of feel like I'm always mega downer in my blogs. Sorry? I feel like I need to do a catch up slash I don't hate my life updater bloggy woggy.

Soo...tomorrow is a good day :) My babiest brothers, Keaton and Kade are coming to spend the weekend with me. That means I will have all FOUR of my brothers together for the first time EVER! To top it off, my best friend will be coming, with her Irish bestfriend and her beautiful talented photog best friend who will be taking pictures of my bubbas and me! SO.EXCITED! THHENN my bff's from college are coming on either wed/thurs to see Coalinga and yours truly.

THEEENN I leave for camp on June 20th for 6 weeks! Also so excited.

BUT I'm getting anxious about the limited amount of time until them. I'm going to miss Mr. Yeager very very much. It's becoming stressful trying to figure out time to do all the things I wanted before I leave for the summer. It will all work out though :)

THHEENNN I will get home and it will be my BIRTHDAY! So many good things happening. God is so good.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/ksullivan8

ignorance is bliss

things i have realized and re-realized lately:

1. being in the same town as jake reminds me how crappy it is to be in a different town than jake.
2. psycho humans are psycho.
3. i am naturally an anxious human being. i can also be:
a) impatient
b) a control freak
4. when my list of "important things i need to accomplish" shrinks, so does my facebook activity. aka i'm ridiculous.
5. my parent's computer is almost worthless
6. the derby is only good for seeing people you don't want to see and buying funnel cakes (no strawberries. soggy is sick)
7. i would enjoy drinking water if it tasted like one of the following: coffee, sweet tea, diet pepsi, a peach.
8. sunchips are reallly healthy since it's impossible to indulge in them as a late night snack because if you do YOU WILL WAKE UP YOUR ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD DUE TO THE OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD ECO-FRIENDLY BAGS!
9. God is good and loves me even when i'm a grump.
10. i hate odd numbers.

fyi

If your mom's name is Tina don't say, "Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner." SHE WILL NOT THINK THE NAPOLEON REFERENCE IS AS HILARIOUS IS YOU. trust me.

creep.

Does anybody else have an overwhelming fear that one day you'll be facebook stalking, and then your victim will be sitting directly behind you in the Student Union, and then will know you are creep, and then you'll be stuck in this super awkward situation?

No? I'm the only one the dims my screen to the max to prevent this from happening? Cool.

veruca

Confession: I have the ability to be really really ridiculously selfish. I’m a human so I realize that comes with the package, but I hate it more than anything. I just can’t handle it.

I do this thing where I think I deserve everything (good). I become frustrated and discouraged when I don’t get what I think I need. I become exhausted when I feel like I’ve worked so hard for so little. I become bitter and restless and impatient.

And then it hits me. I realize just HOW much I have not gotten that I deserve. I deserve severe punishment for my countless sins. Guess what? Haven’t gotten it yet. What I do have is boundless grace and eternal life.

Cue the effort for more grace in my life. Cue patience and understanding. Cue acceptance and faith. Just my current thoughts. Carry on.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourself, it is the gift of God- not by works , so that no one can boast. “ Ephesians 2:8-9

Reasons I Would Hate To Be My Friend

1. Sometimes I don't speak in complete sentences and rarely give background information on what I'm talking about. I assume you all can read my thoughts.

2. I only want to watch movies I've already seen. Ex: Spinal Tap. Dan in Real Life. Elf. The Sound of Music. These are also the only movies I won't fall asleep 20 minutes into.

3.I turn into a psychotic werewolf if I don't have food or sleep. Jake also likes to say I function like an infant.

4. I am quite often thinking in terms of joke material and sometimes forget that some people aren't good at taking jokes.

5. I demand frequent sinus massages.

6. I literally canNOT control my giggling and often times laugh in inappropriate situations.

7. I grab food off other's plates without waiting for permission to do so.

conversations

This past weekend the babe and I packed our bags and headed to El Lay to visit bestfriend. We had a blast, but that's obvs. Here are some of the conversations. They will not be humorous to the general public, but are just for our memories. PS. I'm thinking about doing these every so often.

me: "does everybody here enjoy the smell of coconut?"

ashley: "yeah."

me: "ok good. because every night i have to put my coconut lotion on before bed."

ashley: "why?"

me: "because I like lotion before bed."

ashley: "no, not why that."

me: "oh, why coconut?"

ashley: "yes."

me: "ummmmmmmmm because its summmmer."

jake: "oh and our library will have wood floors and wall to wall bookshelves and it will be the only place in the house that allows pipe smoking."

ashley: "so like, my dad's?"

jake: "yes. kinda."

me: "can i have a rolling ladder?"

ashley: "how high are the ceilings?"

jake: "not THAT high. kris, you can have a step-stool."

me: "NO! i want a rolling ladder!"

jake: "why?"

me: "to be like belle and audrey hepburn."

ashley: "mmmm yes."

jake: "ohmygosh."

jake: "they don't have bird scarers in Australia?"

petah mohley: "nope."

ashley: "it's because we have so many pigeons."

petah mohley: "ha...no. we have WAAAAYYYY more pigeons than you."

jake, ashley, me: "wwwwwhooooooaaaa. sssooooooorrrrrrrrryyyyyyy."

petah mohley: "yeah. and we've also have a lot of seagulls. they are like these pigeon-like birds, except white."

jake, ashley, me: "yeah. we definitely have seagulls to."

petah mohley: "what? really?"

indian giver.

Poor God. Sometimes I'm convinced I'm one of His more annoying children. I ask and ask and ask, and I receive. In big ways. My life has His fingerprints everywhere. Still, I doubt. I don't doubt God's existence, but rather God's abilities. Except, not even God's abilities. Ok, I'll just say it. I'm feeling anxious again.

It isn't lose 20 lbs, sleep all day, think I have a brain tumor anxious. That's a relief. I am just anxious in a selfish way. My confidence is dwindling. Security is weakening. Trust is definitely being tested.

Here's the thing. I like control. Not necessarily to call the shots, because that usually stresses me out. I just like control to have something to hold on to. It's safe. This is why I imaginary brake when I'm in the passenger seat and why I always volunteer to do the work in group projects. I guess that's pretty typical stuff, but it's saddening that I can't muster up the courage to fully trust the creator of the Universe. I could say that I try my hardest, but I don't. Obviously.

Let me set you up with a scene from a typical Karissa prayer session:

".....And God help me not to feel (blank) about (blank). Let me not worry about (blank), and allow me to trust that (blank). I place it all in Your hands. I love you and praise you and worship you. In Jesus' name, Amen." I take a breath, turn to my side, and get right back to worrying as soon as possible. Irritating.

I know I'm unique and irreplaceable. I've read those verses. God has told me, Himself. I know God's timing is better than mine. I've read those verses too. I know my life has purpose and great potential. Read about it. I know I'm safe in His arms. Sang about it. I'm just having trouble living it.

I know it's finals, and another transition period (which I'm not the greatest with). I know big things are going to be happening soon, and that I have a lot to look forward to this summer. I know that God is preparing to use me in ways that are beyond my understanding. I know I need to ditch the resentment and insecurity, the tension, and most importantly the control. I'll do it. I'm just having a night.

Ps. Big Guy, Thanks for being a lover of ashes.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters ... they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God" (Isaiah 43:1-3).

expert

Good news! No school nonsense until Monday! :) I just got a whiff of summer and it is yummmmy.

Ok, so I'm definitely not a relationship expert, but sometimes I think I am. I just figured I would share my abundance of knowledge with the rest of you. Listen up. This may save your life.

1) Never take a picture as if you are at a dance. Even if you are at a dance. It will never turn out as cute as you imagine.

2) Never ask any question that you don't want to hear the answer to. Example: "She's pretty, huh?"

3) If you tell your significant other to pick the movie don't sigh when he picks Gladiator again or she picks Elf again.

4) Males will never know what you are trying to tell him in code. Regardless how many hints you give, you will be better off just saying, "Can you rub my shoulders?"

5) Don't get kissy kissy in front of your friends. It's not cute and nobody else has those butterflies.

6) Everybody will think you are spending too much time together at first. Give it 4 months. That stage will pass.

7) Don't be desperate. Just don't.

8) Perfection would be dating two years, engaged for one, married at three. Things change. Better safe than sorry.

9) Don't start dating your favorite person on Earth when you are 14 unless you have patience.

10) Before you reach the climax of a fight, walk away for 15 then try to solve the issue. It will save a few, "No, I didn't mean that.....that either."

11) This is not the correct way to hold hands. Male's on top. Always. No excuses. Even if Zac Efron in fem.

Monday Memories

Remember when I said I was a procrastinator? Exactly.

This memory will definitely be a lot more enjoyable if you are blessed enough to know the one & only Walter Morris (aka dad). He is one of the weirdest and most amazing humans I know and is always entertaining, even though he tries to pretend he is shy. Anyways, I remember being a kid and being sooo frustrated with him because he ALWAYS made up words. ALWAYS! And he used them ALWAYS. Nobody but our family knew what they meant. Literally every time I go home, he has made up a knew one. Most of them are not repeatable, but here is a taste:

Garbo= trash can- "Sis, go frow this in the Garbo."

Pow Pow Strangers= Power Rangers- "Go Go Pow Pow Strangers!"

Cacabuh= Chewing Tobacco- "Cacabuh kiss."

Fijalator= Refrigerator- "There's some in the Fijalator."

Tupu= stupid- "That's tupu."

Snap= snack- "Did somebody already give ChewChew and CloClo a snap?"

Boom Boom= poop- "Who just made boom boom?"

Talk about being 9 and embarrassed. Love him.

Monday Memories

I've always been a nostalgic person. I just see such great comfort, joy, and security in reflection. I think sometimes we get so caught up in worrying about the future, that we quickly forget how many beautiful moments God has already blessed us with. Cue the idea for my new blog series. From now on (hopefully) I will be documenting one memory from my past that warms my little heart. Hopefully you will enjoy, and double hopefully you will share a special memory from YOUR life each Monday! It'll be fun, yeah? LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! (there's a memory already. CHS class of 07, anyone? Anyone?)

Simple but sweet: Every Tuesday night when I was a wee little thing, my aunt would come over to our house. Sometimes she would carry in a laundry basket, and sometimes my dad would make a Roseanne joke. Ok, not sometimes, always. My mom would pop the popcorn and distribute the sodas. We would gather in the living room snuggled in blankies because my mom loved having the doors open. Weirdo. We would watch Trauma Life in the ER and during the commercial breaks we would have ugly face making competitions (which is probably why I am such a pro). During my annoying stage I would practice dances for them. So lovely. :)

We still got it!

Your Turn!

Pachelbel's Canon

Mother Earth knows I adore me a wedding. I totally understand that every girl does. Well, I assume so. I also understand that some are obsessed as much as me. That's awesome. Join me.

     On our friend's game nights everybody would save their "wedding" card in Apples to Apples for me. It was always my trump card. Even if the adjective was 'disgusting', I would still pick 'wedding'. It's just a fact. 

      Far before I met Jake Yeager or even Chris Henslick, I would spend time browsing David's Bridal. Now, unfortunately for my parental unit, I have been introduced to Jim Hjelm, but my hobby still remains in tact. I love a beautiful bride, a glowing groom, a fun favor, or a lovely local. It literally refills my body with serotonin. I'm sure of it. Anywho. I'm sitting in Computer Applications learning about Powerpoint. Aka I'm browsing my fav wedding blog and getting teary eyed. Figured I'd let you in on my very own fantasies. Ps. If any of you associated directly to my life steal these ideas, I swear to Michael Scott (only because I don't swear to God) I will boycott your nuptials. This is 2o years in the making, peeps.

   

elbowing during church.

Hypothetically speaking I'm supposed to be working on a 10 paged paper about mothers with depression, buuut thats not due until Tuesday, and being ahead of schedule would just be nonsense. That actually has a lot to do with the subject of this bloggy. 

     Today in church our pastor gave a lovely and inspiring message about spiritual gifts, and finding your purpose in the body of Christ. Anyways, during the sermon, Pastor Steve was talking about how each of us are so different. He talked about how some people are so organized and have everything scheduled. I elbowed Jake. He talked about how others are spontaneous and just do things when they feel like it. Jake elbowed me. He mentioned those who are off the chart introverts and get all of their energy being alone. Another elbow to Jake from me. Then he mentioned those who are off the chart extroverts whose energy increases and increases as they are with more people. Another elbow to me from Jake. Then Pastor Steve pointed out that most of the time these people are married. 

      If opposites don't attract then Jake and I are in trouble. But since we're already six years into this, I think we'll be ok. 

It's so lovely having somebody that is everything you're not. Jake is my stability when I need to be grounded. I am his energy when he is feeling low. He is my voice of logic and reason. I am his comic relief. He is my consistency. I am his spontaneity.  Sometimes I think I have the better deal. 

God is a smart dude. If I was dating a male Karissa I would be in a mental institution. I love Jake's quiet and composed personality, and that he thinks hard before each word that he speaks. He loves that I am a social butterfly and talk faster than I can think. Together we form one super human. At least I think so :) 

Be thankful for your gifts and personality. Be thankful for those in your life that keep you balanced. Be thankful for everything! God is love. Rev Run. 

Beautiful Love Poem

My incredibly handsome and talented boyfriend, Jake Yeager, was in a poetry class during his last year at Fresno Pacific. Every week I would look forward to the next masterpiece he would create, and every week I was blown away. There were two poems, however that especially stood out. The first was a love poem about Yours Truly. It was totally precious and romantic. However that wasn't the poem that made my heart skip a beat, my stomach fill with butterflies, and my eyes well up with tears This is the poem responsible for all of that. It's called "There You Stand, Above All." It's a glorious imitation of a Walt Whitman classic. Grab a box of Kleenex and enjoy. 

There You Stand, Above All

 

There you stand, above all—in charge and out of sight!

Taller than the golden arches—they have lost their metallic awe;

Taller than the Burger King’s crown—it has been usurped;

I celebrate your sovereignty instead; your red and white and yellow, your palm-tree cups,

your devoted disciples,

Who form lines out the door—hungry eyes and hopeful stomachs;

Who form lines down parking lot lanes—growling vehicles manned by eager drivers.

 

Rise up!  Either one, or two, or three, or four beef patties—one atop another, atop another, atop

another!

Tenderly will I indulge in that soft bun, which cradles the gentle meat, the hand-leafed lettuce

blanket, the ripe slices of tomato and onion and American cheese, the thousand island dressing that satisfies my craving with a thousand pleasures.

 

O rise up, you stack of old fashioned French fries, which began as the highest grade of potatoes, And were then cut, one by one, into piles of pure potential,

And were then baptized in one-hundred percent pure, cholesterol-free vegetable oil.

Although you are voiceless, your scent calls out the saliva from my taste buds;

Although you are animal-style, you tame my wild appetite with a mighty whip of flavor.

 

O In-N-Out!  My In-N-Out!  Rise up and hear me say:

Whether a single burger, a double-double, a single hold the onion;

Whether regular or animal fry, chocolate or vanilla shake,

Let your unmatched talent never give in,

Let your glorious taste never run out!

:) Maybe not all of America is as big of fatties as me and Yeager, but if that didn't change your life, I don't know what will. 

my girl

my favorite pictures of my favorite girl.

More Than A Feeling

Well all of a sudden I liked Jake. I liked his frosted hair and braces and green kingston shirt and the way he listened to me and the way he genuinely enjoyed that I was complicated and passionate and sometimes obnoxious. 

Let me emphasize on the fact that Jake started liking me in September. All of a sudden it was March, and I liked him, but I didn't want to tell him. I knew he liked me. America knew he liked me, but for some reason it seemed so risky to let him know that the feeling was mutual. I just didn't want to jinx it. 

In April I got the courage to tell him my feelings (after revealing them to every 14 year old female I knew, of course). I was sitting in the office and on MSN Messenger. Jake and I were talking about something relatively light hearted, and all of a sudden I typed (because who talked in 2004?) "Jake, I have to tell you something." Then I typed,  "I like you. Like, like like you." I quickly pushed send and then jumped up and down and squealed and felt nervous and silly and excited. He waited a good minute and a half and then simply typed back ":D" Yup, the guy pulled out the capital d smiley face! Exciting stuff. 

After the establishment of feelings, we had decided to take things slow. Mostly (aka solely) because at this point I was pretty anti having a boyfriend in high school. We did, however, hold hands for the first time at the Horned Toad Derby. When you're 14 year old girl from Coalinga, CA, nothing else seems more appropriate. Sadly, I don't remember too much of this. I know we were there with our friends, and we momentarily separated because Jake wanted to win me a stuffed animal of some sort. It was that awkward but beautiful situation when both participators wanted some hand hold-age, so the limbs kept bumping into one another. Then all of a sudden, bam. We were holding hands. I remember butterflies and clamminess and lots of grins, elbowing, and secret female silent eye conversations when we returned to the group. 

The taking things slow thing lasted two seconds. Summer came and I went to my dad's house, and I just wanted to be Jake's girlfriend. I was back for a weekend, and we were all at the Oxborrow's house. We were sitting on the grass in the front yard, and Audra says, "Jake, I think Karissa wants to be your girlfriend." I gave her the stink eye, but was actually so excited. Jake looked at me and said, "Really?!?" I nodded. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes and then we had our anniversary: June 22, 2004. Then Ken Oxborrow turned the sprinklers on us, appropriately. 

I don't remember what our first date was, exactly. I do remember going and seeing King Arthur because it came out on Jake's 16th birthday, and I was oddly obsessed with Keira Knightly. Jake couldn't drive yet, though, so we were escorted to Coalinga Cinemas by Scott and Melissa Yeager. When the movie was over, Jake called his parents on his silver flip phone. His ringtone was "More Than A Feeling." 

More later. I'm hungry. 

thank God for iTunes.

While talking is one of my favorite hobbies, sometimes I don't have words. Thats where music comes in. Here are my favorite songs at the moment.

JJ Heller is my new obsession. I think my iTunes has all of her lyrics memorized by now.

Ok, Last JJ song. Promise.

Of course, I have to represent my husband, Phil. These lyrics get me.

For my country music peeps

this is on my bedtime playlist and is just the best.

and simply because im still goo goo ga ga over train.

sooooooo thats all :)

love.

I've been super into Mother Teresa lately. Mostly because I've been super into love's verb-ness lately. I get overwhelmed with how selfless and serving humans can be, and how much God can work in us if we allow. Anyways, since I'm not in Calcutta I hope to do my best in California....until one day maybe I can go to Calcutta :) 

Here is a prayer that Mother Teresa wrote on the wall of her home for children. I'm all about it. 

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

...Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

...Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

...Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

...Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

...Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

...Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

...Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

...Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

Spring Forward!

I think I'm one of ten people in America who enjoy Spring Daylight Savings Time. Of course, losing one hour of sleep isn't the most fabulous of situations, but I still prefer it over gaining one. Why? It's the first step towards summer. 

I've always been a summer girl. I was born in the summer, and when I was nine years old I was so jealous of Summer Sanders because a) I wanted to host Figure It Out and b) I wanted her name. 

Summer means black skin and boat rides. Night swims and no make-up. Sweet tea and So You Think You Can Dance. Reuniting and Relaxation. 

I love the long hot days, and the creativity your mind surprises you with on the equally long nights. Good things happen in the summer. Bad things too, but mostly good. This summer is going to be especially good. I can feel it. Until then let's reflect on summer's past, shall we? 

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